Once upon a time I knew a lady who really liked that endlessly repeated on E4 TV show, Friends.

I have nothing at all against Friends (despite that episode where everybody from the UK is evil except for Richard Branson), you can’t deny that it is funny. However it is far from the best US sitcom available. That particular honour goes to Seinfeld.

I told her about Seinfeld and how it was so much more interesting than Friends and she seemed sceptical but willing to give it a try.

Seinfeld is almost unheard of in Japan but I knew I had seen a boxed set of DVDs somewhere on my travels to one of the various HMVs around the country. So we searched through various shops, turning Fujisawa upside down but no DVDs were found.

Fast forward to today and unfortunately we are no longer in contact but on a trip to BOOK OFF I finally found what I was looking for. It was a boxed set of the first couple of seasons of Seinfeld. The front had nothing out of the ordinary, just another picture of the usual four faces but on the back of the box there was a little slip cover. On it was the Japlish sentence, It’s 笑 time. From my extensive use of twitter I had already found out that 笑 or more precisely 笑う means ‘to laugh’. So I read out loud, “It’s laugh time”. The person I was with instantly corrected me. “No, it’s show time.”, she said.

I soon realised that on the back of that Seinfeld box was a pun and it was a multilingual one too, which makes it all the better. Lets not get technical but I may have mentioned before that kanji have multiple readings, the so called On reading and Kun reading. Due to the fact I have not yet studied 笑 and had only seen it in the wild, I only knew the Kun reading (warau). So this sighting, on a Seinfeld DVD box of all things, was the first time I witnessed the On reading (shyo).

So the words on the back of the box are a play on the English phrase “It’s show time”, but because 笑 is used it not only means it’s time to start the show but also that it is time to start laughing.

And because you are about to watch Seinfeld you will laugh.

It’s amazing how much Seinfeld has inadvertently taught me about Japanese culture. Now all I need to do is track down episodes of The Super Terrific Happy Hour and I will be an expert in all things Japanese.

Some time ago I was asked by one of my students for a translation of senpai. I was flummoxed, I really had no idea how to answer him. Due to the vast exposure I had to animé during my teenage years I could easily explain the concept but to come up with one word was just beyond me.

Until last night. While watching an episode of Seinfeld entitled “The Fatigues” I suddenly jumped out of my chair and yelled “That’s it!”.

I had found the word that had eluded me for so long.

In this episode Jerry dates a girl who has a successful businesswoman that advises her on day to day and business matters. Yes, he dates a girl with a mentor! This concept is such a rare and unusual thing in the west that the word completely slipped my mind but such a relationship is not so rare here. Brilliantly due to Seinfeld I have found the perfect translation for both senpai AND kohai (mentor / protégé).

Unfortunately, I can only find one clip on youtube from this episode and it completely ignores the mentor plot line. So instead I will resort to a quote that sums up the mentor /  protégé relationship perfectly.

George: I still don’t understand this. Abby has a mentor?

Jerry: Yes. And the mentor advises the protégé.

George: Is there any money involved?

Jerry: No.

George: So what’s in it for the mentor?

Jerry: Respect, admiration, prestige.

George: Pssh. Would the protégé pick up stuff for the mentor?

Jerry: I suppose if it was on the protégé’s way to the mentor, they might.

George: Laundry? Dry cleaning?

Jerry: It’s not a valet, it’s a protégé.

Of course, when it comes to the senpai and kohai, the kohai IS expected to pick up the laundry.

I wish a very happy Festivus to one and all. I hope that you feel better after airing your grievances and wish you luck with your feats of strength.

Just what is Festivus? I hope this explains it:

Festivus will forever remind me of my days in the Sandcastle, good times.

In a certain other blog the author stated that he had an agreement with someone to write a potentially embarrassing post if they hadn’t written anything for 10 days. Well I have no such agreement but I am going to post something anyway. It’s not really embarrassing but just a thought that I had.

While surfing the the BBC Sport website I saw the picture to the left and thought: “Why is that big fellow trying to stare down that old lady?” Turns out that that old lady is non other than super hard boxer, Ricky Hatton. I really think that his hat is not flatering at all, if you what to intimidate your opponent wear a cap or a hoodie, not a grandma hat.

Although I’m not one to talk, I wear a winter hat that Jerry Seinfeld described saying:

“This hat says to the world “I would rather have the heat in my skull rather than anything society could possibly offer.”

Which perhaps is true. I also recently bought a hat to cover my overgrown hair which on second thought makes me look like Tiny Tim from A Christmas Carol.