He who climbs Mount Fuji once is a wise man, he who climbs it twice is a fool.Some old proverb

Having lived in Japan for eight odd months now I have often looked across at Mount Fuji and basked in its grandeur. One thing that all tourist guides say that you should do before leaving Japan is climb Mount Fuji, so despite not exercising since I got here, I felt the time was right to conquer mighty beast.

The assent started off easily, choosing to do an overnight climb, a bus was caught from Kawaguchiko Station at about 21.15 up to the 5th mountain station at 2305m. From here the walk started. My group kept a brisk pace as we travelled along the mountain paths, which were steep and tiring but not exactly hard. We reached the 7th station in no time. It was beginning to get cold now but I was beginning to think that the whole assent would be a piece of cake.

However as I followed the path round behind the 7th station (which is at 2700m, fact fans), I was greeted with quite a sight.

ROCKS.

Just rocks, not in a nice stairwell formation either but arranged in a higgledy-piggledy way that made getting over them an exercise in patience and stamina. The process wasn’t helped by the fact it was dark, cold and midnight. Getting over these rocks became my entire existence for a good three hours.

I was so happy when that ordeal was finally over and the track became dirt path again. I became a man possessed and just kept on walking. Though the wind, cold and darkness. I felt like an old Russain woman, heavy legged, stick in hand (did I tell you I bought a stick?), struggling to keep her footing through the frozen hinterlands of Siberia. I wasn’t in Siberia though but the highest mountain in Japan, a fact that only just was beginning to dawn on me.

Hours pass and we make it to the 8th station (3360m) and beyond. The final push was in sight, or a least is would have been if it wasn’t so bloody misty. I would have been happy but we were greeted with more bloody rocks. This final part became a slog and was made only the worse by liars coming back down claiming that we still had twenty minutes to go when we only had three.

So at 5.00 we made it to the top, at this point I would have liked to have said that the view was stunning but there was so much mist we could barely see two feet in front of our noses. Instead of the promised amazing view we had to make do with overpriced coke and udon noodles.

After a two hour rest we decided to begin our descent down the mountain, the walk down itself was fairly simple. However while it was not too bad, it was on a load of slippery, shoe destroying rocks. By the time I reached the bottom, my wonderful Red Avengers were now longer fit to wear.

So to sum up I have to agree with the opening quote, it was an amazing thing to do but never, ever again.

So after paying for a recent karaoke session, I had a look at the receipt and noticed that the tracks we sung were listed on it, which is a nice touch. I then realised something slightly strange.

All the titles of the English songs were written in katakana, which is fair enough, it’s easier for Japanese folk to read. However all the titles of the Japanese songs we sang were written in English, which made much easier for English folk such as myself to read.

Is that ironic? I don’t really know but trying to work out what all the English songs were called could make for a terribly exciting party game.

Some time ago I was asked by one of my students for a translation of senpai. I was flummoxed, I really had no idea how to answer him. Due to the vast exposure I had to animé during my teenage years I could easily explain the concept but to come up with one word was just beyond me.

Until last night. While watching an episode of Seinfeld entitled “The Fatigues” I suddenly jumped out of my chair and yelled “That’s it!”.

I had found the word that had eluded me for so long.

In this episode Jerry dates a girl who has a successful businesswoman that advises her on day to day and business matters. Yes, he dates a girl with a mentor! This concept is such a rare and unusual thing in the west that the word completely slipped my mind but such a relationship is not so rare here. Brilliantly due to Seinfeld I have found the perfect translation for both senpai AND kohai (mentor / protégé).

Unfortunately, I can only find one clip on youtube from this episode and it completely ignores the mentor plot line. So instead I will resort to a quote that sums up the mentor /  protégé relationship perfectly.

George: I still don’t understand this. Abby has a mentor?

Jerry: Yes. And the mentor advises the protégé.

George: Is there any money involved?

Jerry: No.

George: So what’s in it for the mentor?

Jerry: Respect, admiration, prestige.

George: Pssh. Would the protégé pick up stuff for the mentor?

Jerry: I suppose if it was on the protégé’s way to the mentor, they might.

George: Laundry? Dry cleaning?

Jerry: It’s not a valet, it’s a protégé.

Of course, when it comes to the senpai and kohai, the kohai IS expected to pick up the laundry.