Happy Father’s Day to all dads out there. Hope you enjoy your day (especially my dad). I’ve been watching the first series of Doctor Who again recently, the episode I watched today was titled “Father’s Day”. A happy coincidence.

Certain loyal readers to my website may have noticed that I haven’t been updated much recently. The reason for this is that until recently I have had no internet access available. Now that this situation has changed more posts should be coming soon (such as stories about how difficult it is to sort out an internet connection in Japan).

I hate Starbucks, I really do. I have never had a satisfying drink or any tasty food in there. Ok, I don’t like coffee but their other drink selections have always been somewhat lacking. In Japan though, Starbucks is not the only coffee shop on the block. They have a Japanese rival in the shape of Doutor.

While Starbucks’ hot chocolate is sickly, Doutor’s is sweet. While Starbucks’ tea is like hot toilet water, Doutor’s tastes like the leaves have been grown on the premises and picked that morning. While Starbucks’ sandwiches are crusty and hard, Doutor’s are soft and wonderful. Doutor also sells croque-monsieurs which gives them an instant win.

However….

They seem determined to lose my custom. I was parcial to their sandwiches, which had the glamourous names, Milano Sandwich B and Milano Sandwich C. However about 6 months ago the C sandwich was changed to something half as appitising. I was disappointed but the B sandwich was still there to help me come to terms with my loss.

Until today that is…. And my poor B sandwich has been replaced with a “thing” made of lesser ingreadients. Gah, all I have to eat there now is their croque-monsieurs and I can make better ones than they can.

Here is an open letter to Doutor:

Dear Mr Doutor,

I don’t care if customer surveys said your new sandwiches are better. Don’t mess with perfection. You had it, but now you have lost it.

Hugs,

Me

P.S. Please make it so your name in Romanji doesn’t look like it has a completely different pronunciation to the katakana. It is stupid and confusing.

Now I’m off to make a croque-monsieur for my dinner……

I have come to the conclusion that the people who wear AC/DC T-shirts are good , interesting people. Even if they are not, I have a great excuse to find out by starting up a conversation about one of my favourite bands.

I did just that this very weekend and as a result I have ended up in an email language exchange with a Japanese person. I email in English and she emails in Japanese. This is just peachy but unfortunately my Japanese is awful. So I basically have to make educated guesses to work out what she is trying to say. Often I think I have understood but it would be nice to check, so I head to Yahoo! Babelfish.

Now, I know that sometimes when you translate from French or Spanish to English, there are problems with word order and grammar but I was not prepared for the hilarity and confusion that translating from Japanese would cause.

For example, here is the original Japanese:

イギリスのごはんはにほんであまりたべられないもんねー
はじめてきいたよ、そのごはん。おいしそうだね

Which I think means something along the lines of:

“English food is not really eaten in Japan. It’s the first time I’ve heard of these meals. They (could be/ sound?) tasty.”

But what I got through Babelfish was:

“Don’t you think? as for the English boiled rice excessively it is the spoon [re] the potato it is in Japan, – it was effective for the first time, that boiled rice. Don’t you think? tastily so is”

Which made my brain explode.

Remember when you used to go to the seaside when you were young and went to those crappy gift shops. They would all have postcards or keyrings with your name on it and the meaning behind it. All of them would be very complimentary but I always had a sneaking suspicion they were made up.

Well, all Japanese names are written in kanji. Each kanji character has its own, possibly multiple, reading and meaning. That means that while this leads to difficulties when reading unusual names, it does mean that most names mean something and it is not just made up by some card company. For example Hanako (花子) means flower child and Yoshiro (義郎) means righteous son.

Unfortunately foreigners, or at least those who aren’t Chinese, can’t get in on the act straight away. For foreign words Japanese uses katakana which means that names have no double meaning. However it is possible to look up the readings of kanji to find the kanji for your name. Another Shane teacher did just that a while ago and found 功俐主 (Chris) which means successful intelligent master. Which is very flattering, I guess.

Not wanting to be left out I went and found out what my kanji name could be and eventually came up with this:

陽国 勝運

or Sun Country (Hicoku)  Lucky Win (Shioun)

That’ll do me.

Although I did find out that I could also use 暑怨 (hot grudge) for Shaun. Is that cooler?

A short time ago I discovered a fascinating thing. It is a discovery that perhaps shows the key cultural difference between the Japanese and the British. While Japan has a tradition of respect and honour, Britain has a history of mocking those in authority. While in Japan people are always scared of saying the wrong thing, British people love a cheeky chappy. In Japan, people stick in groups, while the British admire the underdog who strikes out on his own.

Yes, I am of course referring to the fact that Japanese people can’t blow raspberries. Now, I’m not saying that it is not possible for them to, it’s just that they’ve never really tried. Within a few minutes training, a satisfying raspberry can be produced. However only after a few rather flemmy false starts.

I wonder why Japanese culture never demanded people to make this sound, maybe toilet humour isn’t as popular here as in other countries. Do they not know the great therapeutic qualities in going “fffllbbbblblblblblppph”? Anybody have any theories? Are there any sociologists reading this?

If it wasn’t for the raspberry we wouldn’t have had the late, great Spike Milligan writing sketches like this: