For those not in the know there are 3 different alphabets used in Japanese, Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji. Hiragana and Katakana are very easy to learn, each character is simple and each character represents a different sound. Kanji on the other hand are those complicated Chinese characters which don’t just represent sounds but complete words and the reading and meaning can change seemingly (to me at least) at random.

I have already learnt Hiragana and Katakana and now I’ve finally decided to learn Kanji. To aid my greater understanding of the world going on around me I bought some Kanji flash cards called Kanji for Fun 2 (pack one was sold out, who needs the basics…). I rather hope it is fun and as long as I keep telling myself so while I am slogging through them, can only help.

The main reason I felt the need to learn Kanji was that while writing in Japanese I found that writing “watashi” was most frustrating. In hiragana watashi is rendered “わたし”, in theory it’s only three characters so it should be simple. Unfortunately every time I write わ it comes out looking terrible, really spacked up. Watashi also happens to mean “I”, so I tend to need to write it a lot. Writing watashi in Kanji is a much simpler affair: 私. There, one character and much easier to write. I reckon if I learn enough Kanji, I may never need to write わ again. Surely that is as good a reason as any to learn a new alphabet, to avoid using another one.

Something else I have noticed about Japanese is that there are about a dozen ways to say “I”. All of which are dependant on sex, situation, politeness level and who you are with. For girls I have discovered two, watashi and atashi. Apperently atashi is said when a girl is trying to be extra cute. For guys I have uncovered three, watashi, boku and ore. I am mightily confused as to when they should be used and have stuck with watashi so far because it seems to be the safest. Brilliantly, saying the subject of a sentence is often dropped when speaking Japanese. I can’t say I’m very surprised, people probably can’t remember which word they should be using.

I love a good pun, but I like bad ones even more. When I hear a friend make a pun that has everyone else groan with disgust I generally seem to want to howl with delight. I have discovered recently that it is very difficult to come up with a pun on demand. If someone asks for an example of a pun, it can be very difficult to produce one. A quick google has produced a few iffy ones but I quite like “Police were called to a daycare centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.” and “A good pun is it’s own re-word.”

Ho-ho.

I have recently been discovering a few Japanese puns. The problem with humour is that if you need to explain a joke it ceases to be funny, sure you can appreciate it once it’s been explained but only in an “oh well that’s quite clever” kind of a way.

So here are some Japanese puns for you:

エスカレーターで　つかれた。
(esukaretaa de tsukareta)
The escalator is tired.

ふとんが　ふっとんだ
(futon ga futton da)
The futon was flying.

牛を かお
(ushi o kao)
I raise cows.

The first two are fairly easy to explain, two words which sound similar combined together for humourous effect. The third caused more problems, I had to ask a fair few people until I received an answer which made sense. Ushi in Japanese means cow, while kao seems to have a dozen different English translations ranging from “to be proud of” to “to take care of”. Seeing as “I’m proud of cows” sounds weird I went for “to raise” as an adequate translation. So the humour here comes from the fact that the Japanese for “to raise” sounds very much like “cow”.

I have been asking a number of people this past week if any of these are actually funny, they all said no.

On the subject of not funny, I recently cracked my first joke in Japanese. During a phone text conversation a Japanese friend of mine commented that it was a lovely day today. However I had to work on my day off that day, so I wittily replied:

“しごとのひは いつも はれ です。
やすみのひは いつも てんきは よくない です”
(Shigoto no hi wa itsu mo hare desu.
Yasumi no hi wa itsu mo tenki wa yokunai desu.)

Or if you want that in English, “Every time I am at work the weather is always good, every time I have a day off the weather is always bad.”

To this I got the reply “あははは” which I hope is the Japanese for “AHAHAHA” and not “Shut up you idiot”.

… then what would you call nerdy metal?

I’ve recently discovered the band Animetal, who cover animé theme tunes in a metal style. They make the geek in me rock out.

\m/

Watching all these theme tunes again is giving me a huge nostalgia kick.

Who am I? What am I?
I am I.
This object that is myself, that which forms what is me. This is the self that can be seen and yet it is not like that which is myself.

That there is a quote from a legendary TV show. One that I have loved since I first clapped eyes on it. Of course, I am talking about Neon Genesis Evangelion. Eva was a show that really blew my mind when I first watched it, it made me think about things in a way I never had before and for that I will always commend it. I sometimes joke with people that the reason that I am in Japan is Evangelion, but maybe that is true. Without Eva I would never have started on the slippery slope of animé watching which led to becoming interested in other parts of Japanese culture and finally moving to the country itself.

I hate myself. But I might be able to love myself. I might be allowed to stay here. Yes. I am nothing but me. I can be me. I wish to be me. I want to stay here. I can stay here!

Evangelion really was a seminal TV show, despite being well over thirteen years old the show is still very much in the public consciousness, which leads to finding Eva related things in the most bizarre of places. the first thing you notice is the amount of Eva branded pachinko machines there are. Pachinko parlours are everywhere and outside them there always seems to be a poster or flag with Shinji and the gang on it.

You get to see the true side of her that she doesn’t allow us to see. That’s very much like a family.

Another thing is the sheer amount of Evangelion figurines to be found. Now, it’s not unusual for there to be statuettes made of characters from a popular animé but with Eva it is beyond ridiculous. Every possible theme for the models has been explored. I have seen figures dressed in yukata for hanabi, swimsuits, as lolly pop men (people?), in teddy bear suits, as Kewpies and incredibly even dressed as they appear in the show. There is even a seemly popular range of “chibi-eva” key rings and phone charms that seem to fly off the shelves.

But all that is just merchandise. GAINAX, the company who created Evangelion, got into a bit of hot water with the authorities over tax evasion and needed money quickly. So they effectively sold the shows soul in order to stay in business. A strategy that they seem to have stuck with ever since.

It’s hot…
…Yes

The truly interesting run ins with Evangelion are the unexpected ones. The other day I noticed a 60 or so year old businessman with a NERV logo embossed on his mobile phone, probably at great expense. Once, while I was watching the news, an MP was being interviewed and I noticed an Asuka file on his desk. The strangest experience however was, as I was walking home from the cinema, a gang of bikers pulled up at the traffic lights, one of the bikers was playing some rock music at full blast from his CD player. One track finished only to be replaced with “Zankoku na tenshi no you ni, shounen yo shinwa ni nare“, the musical biker then put his hands in the air and started bobbing his head to the Evangelion theme tune.

Also, a Frenchman once sang the Evangelion theme to me in a crowded Japanese bar. I had to salute him.

We need to stop caring about the Shinji Ikaris in other peoples minds.
Dan Bell

I’m not quite sure what all my above ramblings really have to say but Neon Genesis Evangelion does seem to have been a show that has had an incredible affect on people, rarely do shows like it come along and I hope that it will be fondly remembered for at least another thirteen years.

When I was a lad I would often watch an American children’s cartoon called Hey Arnold. It was an odd cartoon, I don’t really recall anything of any note actually happening to the characters. I think maybe once they had a remote control boat race but that’s about it. The show did however introduce me to the concept of the stoop. The stoop is the staircase outside houses that leads up to the front door. In one episode of Hey Arnold they kept on going on about a ’stoop kid’ who would just sit on a stoop all day and never leave it.

Well there isn’t a stoop outside my flat here in Japan but there is a small step and a local character who often sits there smoking. I have named him Stoop Ojii-san (old man) and I wonder why he chose this particular place to sit, maybe it is for this magnificent view:

Yes, he just sits there and basks in the warm glow of a vending machine, a strange pass time.

Like many old men in this country he can’t speak any English but he seems to like engaging me in conversation as I walk past him. Usually it’s just a quick konbanwa (good evening) greeting but occasionally he goes for something different. His favourite question is asking if the person I’m with is my girlfriend, even if it’s a man.

Yes, he has quite the developed sense of humour. Last night as I left home he tried his girlfriend line again, to which my friend replied with “Wakarimasen” (I don’t understand) and as we walked down the road she called back to him “I hope you have a good night tonight”. Instantly he retorted by saying…

“Wakarimasen.”

Such timing!